Poem: “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk”, by Portia Nelson

In the podcast today, I referred to this poem–and said that I would post it here. This poem / story is the foundation to one of my personal favorite wisdoms of “when we find ourselves in a hole, we work on shifting it and getting out–we don’t make ourselves comfortable!”. In other words, peeps, we don’t pick out drapes and duvet covers. We. Work. On. Getting. Out.

“I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

― Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery

I Had No Idea!

One thing I talked about in today’s podcast is the importance of always looking to learn and evolve through this school of life. I even said that I didn’t understand people who choose to stay in limbo and not grow, and / or numb out.

That statement is misleading, because I have lived years of my life within a certain energy of being comfortably numb, as unhappy as I was. Because I drank regularly, I was perfectly (un)happy to live each day in and out, partying and trying to avoid emotional pain (which was, of course, impossible).

Once my decision to quit alcohol held, then I was in a place to continue ‘working’ on myself: going back to school, finishing college degrees, etc. During this time I was also dedicated to exploring the idea of healing my ‘inner’: researching meditation, my personal connection to God / Universal Energy, etc. I felt as though I had my own “Under Construction” sign over my head.

The fascinating thing is: the more I healed, the better I felt…BUT IN LOOKING BACK I NOW REALIZE THAT I WAS STILL NOT HAPPY. But I thought I was. It’s so strange! I am so thankful that now I can definitively see how I am now eons away from where I was.

So the point that I’m trying to make is…it’s ALL GOOD. Keep learning. Keep healing. Keep growing. Keep reaching your goals, and once you complete ’em, make new ones! You will also look back in hindsight and understand how far you’ve come and how much better you feel. Keep it up!

Hard, but worth it!

We ARE Moving Forward–Even If It Doesn’t Seem Like It!

I mentioned this important point in my podcast today (have you given it a listen? If not, check it out on my home page): it’s often the case that things seem as though they’re not changing as fast as we think they should in our lives. We may feel ‘stuck’, and in a limbo state. It becomes frustrating when even though we’ve dedicated ourselves to achieving a goal and put in persistent effort, we still have nothing really to show for it.

DO NOT GIVE UP! This all comes down to divine timing, and also the fact that things work themselves out ‘behind-the-scenes’ or ‘under-the-surface’ much of the time. All we can do is put in the authentic effort, continue walking our paths while connecting with our angels and guides along with God / Universal Energy. Stay open to curves in the road, signs and synchronicity, etc. And look for all of our many blessings!

Remember this daily prayer: “Thank You God, for all of my many blessing, all of the blessings on their way, and for everything always working out for me.” It’s a beautiful thing!

Beautifully determined

Feeling, Dealing, and Healing!

Today I had a hard conversation with my niece who just relocated to a new city / state to start college. As happy as I am for her and this new and exciting chapter in her life, I felt the need to level with her in a serious way about the importance of taking care when it comes to her personal safety.

Specifically, I warned her about the possibility of encountering a situation in which she is slipped the ‘date rape’ drug. It happened to me when I was in college in the early 90’s, and it certainly hasn’t gone anywhere: this drug is still making headlines, whether it’s due to people busting a man who was putting it in his date’s drink in a bar (caught on camera), or the Bill Cosby scandal (drugging over 30 women and counting?).

I encouraged her to stick close to friends and keep support close by when out and in social situations (particularly those that involve alcohol). Though it acts fairly quickly, there is a time period in which the individual who is drugged experiences a heightened sense of drunkenness–this is when it’s important to reach out to friends and/or get to a ‘safe space’. Avoid being alone with strangers in any sort of social setting (again, I think that when one is young and new to a city and college experience, it’s super important to keep your friends CLOSE).

I plan on writing a short booklet detailing steps and tips to take into account when it comes to personal safety and situational awareness, but for the purposes of this blog post I will keep it short! Mainly I just alerted her to this drug’s existence, which is good enough for now. I will be sending her my safety booklet as well (keep an eye out for it…coming soon!). I send prayers of healing to all who experience trauma related to the theft of personal choice and sovereignty, and may we all continue to heal ourselves as we move forward into living our best lives!

wise Rumi

Doing A Post Even If I Don’t Feel Like It!

We’re in energetically stressful times, and as I’ve pointed out in my podcast “RVE For The HSP”, it is going to continue until Saturn completes its stay in Capricorn and moves into Aquarius in mid-December!

SO, until then, it’s important that we do our best to challenge ourselves to buckle down and work. This means doing things that we don’t necessarily WANT to do, but should anyway. It means parenting ourselves, and developing self-discipline (ugh). Not easy, but very important to be able to do.

Let’s just know that we’re not alone as we move forward with our personal goals, and as we try and try again. It’s all O.K.! Let’s keep trying; we create our lives and futures in moment after moment!

Heart rocks, shells, and seaglass

H-A-L-T (E-D)

When recovering from an addiction or addictive behavior, it’s important to monitor times when we feel crappy, and do a check in regarding certain things: are we hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Generally, these can contribute to us feeling out of sorts, depressed, and grumpy.

I’d like to add another two: Energy? And Dehydration? With the first, we could have negative and heavy energetic residue that we need to clear out. I kind of look at it as ‘brushing’ our auras, and removing yuck that might be stuck to us! There are different ways to do this, so do your research and try it out. The second has to do with the fact that so many people are chronically dehydrated nowadays, perhaps more than ever with the extreme heat occurring. Make sure you’re drinking enough water (and clean water, too)! Otherwise, we can be very irritable and feeling yucky.

Taking personal responsibility to care for our heath on the most basic levels is very important as well as necessary. Keep it up!

Lovely water

Inner Glow-Up!

In my podcast today, I admittedly went on a bit of a rant about the importance of understanding the true beauty of being a quality person in terms of accessing and shining our INNER LIGHT and LOVE.

It is far too easy to fall for the illusion that outer beauty and wealth makes an individual a ‘quality’ person, when really, what matters is what kind of people are they on the inside! Do they have an unhealthy ego / power trip? Are they mean and unkind? Do they focus on working on themselves to be better connected to God Energy? Are they humble? Are they ‘of service’ to others?

This is what matters. when it comes to being a beautiful person, first and foremost we must focus on the inner! Without that, even if someone has all the money in the world they can be decrepit inside; their foundation is built on rotting wood, and falling into a sinkhole within.

Let’s continue to connect with our inner lights and shine bright as we move forward into our best selves and best lives!

Inner light and love, baby!

Listen to my special podcast on FEAR: feeling, dealing with, and HEALING IT!

This past weekend I recorded a special episode (#113, ironically) on the subject of fear. I am more familiar than I would like to be on the subject having lived life in an almost constant state of fear, and feel I’m in no way alone! We all have fear in our souls, minds, hearts, and even cells and brain neurons, and it’s time to heal it!

I’ve been thinking about the subject of past lives (the theory that one can bring past pain from another previous life with us into our present one). My fear can be so intense and specific, it truly makes me wonder if I have somehow lived through it before on some level in another lifetime!

One thing that is definitive is that fear that can be coded into our DNA from ancestral trauma. Also, traumas that occur before the age of five (as infants) can mentally and emotionally scar us and our subconscious! This is such a mind bender, because the whole meaning of ‘subconscious’ means that we aren’t aware of the trauma–we don’t even remember it.

One thing that I can state with confidence is that growing up in a severely dysfunctional alcoholic household scarred me in an ongoing sustained way, and due to this my brain neurons laid down specific pathways. I’m no expert, but I do know that the electric impulses in our brain follow paths of habitual thinking. It stands to reason that if you consciously work toward changing your thoughts and the way you think, you change your mind and positively affect your emotions, actions, and life!

I also think that one’s body / mind might seek to support fearful thoughts due to an addiction to adrenaline: my chemical makeup has been filled with fear for so long, it’s become ‘comfortable’ in it (as strange as that sounds)!

This takes time and effort, but we must not be discouraged. I came to the conclusion that even if my deep fear is never fully healed, even if I still have occasional sleepless nights filled with dread and times in which I feel terrified, that is O.K. I am willing to accept that in exchange for feeling overall better, for experiencing glimpses of life without fear–for it is by having these moments that I can more easily get through the hard ones. My fear episodes are getting ‘easier’ in certain ways, and don’t last as long.

Remember, getting through fear episodes means using your ‘tools’, whatever they are: clearing your mind, conscious breathing, meditative techniques, energy work, prayer, sound therapy, eft / tapping, etc. There is a lot out there, so figure out what helps you.!

I intend to cover the subject of feeling, dealing with, and healing fear a lot more in the future, so as always, stay tuned for more. I appreciate you!

Wise words

You Are Meant To Be Here!

In today’s podcast, I talk a bit about one of my great mentors who died from adrenal cancer a few years back. She lived her whole life with a deep wounding, feeling that her mother did not love her. I have met others who have felt this pain, feeling rejected from either parental figure, or both.

It is of utmost importance that this is healed, because I tell you with complete certainty that not only were you meant to be born, but you are also a child of God / Universal Energy AND ARE LOVED, AND DESERVE LOVE. You are worthy. You have gifts and talents to offer to the world, so get to it! This deep wounding only serves to cause deep instability on a soul level, and really, who can live their best life with that as a foundation?

I have a theory that the key to healing this pain is our connection with God / Universal Energy. It is truly what heals all wounds, and with it we need nothing else other than food, water, and shelter. It is this great Love that is like the Sun symbol in the tarot, filling us with healing light, health, happiness, abundance and prosperity! From there, everything else is extra goodness: our relationships with others, how we move and interact in our personal spheres, etc.!

So strengthen your self-love today: listen to my podcast from this date to learn more about how!

You are worthy and needed!

Work It!

As you may well know (particularly if you listen to my podcast “RVE For The HSP”, there is an exact square between Mars and Pluto (Retrograde) that’s currently happening, though we are still feeling the energy of it for a bit because these are major players in the astrological experience!

The key to get through the frustration, anger, rage, fear, shadow side, and power / control issues that may crop up? W-O-R-K on yourself! We should all be WORKING, REALLY WORKING on something: learning a new skill, improving something, healing past wounds, exercising, moving forward with steps toward a goal, changing what no longer works for us, etc.!

Luckily, the Sun conjunct Mercury in Leo, and Neptune (Retrograde) in Pisces are there to give positive support during this time! So definitely focus on your goals, what you allow into your thoughts and mind, and strengthening your connection with God (whether you’re more specifically religious, or generally spiritual–I always say “God is shorthand for ‘Good'”.

Keep your mind occupied with possibilities of positive change, and keep on keepin’ on!